Recent discussions in British Columbia around the possible legalization of polygamous marriage inspired the Ontarion editorial staff this week to explore the changes to the institution of marriage over the last few years. Many of these changes we welcome enthusiastically, like legalization of same-sex marriage in Canada and the increasing legitimacy of “life partner” acting in place of husband or wife as a descriptor for a long-term monogamous relationship. This being said, in our discussions a few aspects to the culture of marriage were found wanting.

While by no means a new trend, the wedding day seems to be almost synonymous with marriage; the former even overshadowing the latter in many cases. This seems odd considering one lasts a day or even an evening while the other theoretically lasts until death do they part. The culture of materialism around the wedding is not going anywhere, but what is a genuine cause for concern is that many individuals approach marriage eagerly awaiting the wedding for all its fineries, yet are ill-prepared for the marriage to follow.

Others still make the decision to enter into the institution of marriage simply because that is what’s done when one is of a certain age and disposition, when two people have been dating for a good amount of time or, as is unfortunately the case with some woman in particular, to avoid being viewed as a “spinster” or “old maid” or some other equally sexist misnomer. Deciding to get married in the face of one of these factors has become a reflex; totally naturalized.

And then there’s the pervasive attitude of marital impermanence that runs rampant in the minds of many approaching the alter. Certainly, nearly all people enter into marriages with the best intentions and possibly even meaning every word they say in their vows on some level, but admittedly it’s difficult to escape the fact that divorce is common, accepted and relatively easy. Rather than entering a marriage expecting to have to work at it constantly and viewing problems in the relationship as conquerable, many turn to divorce at the first sign of hardship citing that the marriage just wasn’t working anymore.

To clarify, the Ontarion is not against marriage. It is the right step to take for many people and can further develop already healthy relationships. We merely would like to encourage our readership to take some responsibility and reflect on how marriage fits in with each individual’s ideals. As university students, many of us are at an age when thoughts of marriage will be at the forefront of our thinking, so do we not owe it to ourselves that if and when we do choose to get married, that it is right for us and for the right reasons? If after some reflection marriage continues to be a healthy option in your mind, wonderful. But for those who remain unconvinced, the Ontarion would like to encourage the idea of having a “life partner” to continue to be explored as a legitimate and equally committed choice for many relationships.

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