Dear Santa,
I’ve been a good girl this year. (No really, I have). I said “please” and “thank you,” ate my veggies, and told my parents I love them. I didn’t even fight with my brothers, not once! (Okay, so I don’t actually have any brothers, but I was hoping you’d be too busy to notice.) Being a university student, there are many things you probably expect me to ask you for: a two-week extension on an essay of my choice (maybe three?), an instant teleport between school and home, or an immortal ink cartridge. This year, though, I’m making my wish list a little different.
As lovely as they are, I’ll take the tree sans partridge– or any tree, for that matter. Whether or not you believe in global warming (is there still snow up there, Santa?), the world could certainly use some more plant life, for both our health and that of future generations.
Instead of two turtle doves, how about hundreds? The beautiful, white birds, symbolic of peace, are desperately needed around the globe. Afghanistan, Egypt, Yemen, and other countries that have fallen victim to autocracy and violence would be kinder places if only we could remind people that we are all equal inhabitants of Earth.
On a lighter note, why don’t you accompany those three hens with some wonderful French cuisine? I know many of my peers would thoroughly enjoy some French fries or French toast. (Please spare me the French kiss.) Oh, and I don’t have much use for four calling birds, but my floormates would definitely be grateful for some calling cards. They miss talking to their folks!
There is no need for five golden rings. Canada won 14 gold medals in the 2010 Winter Olympics, and that is plenty enough for me! Proud Canadians, unite!
In lieu of six a-laying geese, I propose multiple silly geese. As in, lighten up, people! If we continue to run around like chickens with our heads cut off (no offense to the three hens), we’re all going to go insane! Actually, I’m afraid this has already happened.
Let us have the seven swans a-swimming be a lesson, teaching us that one must never judge a book by its cover. The beautiful swan was once an ugly duckling, and instead of being loved for who it was, it was ridiculed and ostracized. (No, not ostriches, we’re talking about a different bird here.)
It’s wonderful to have eight maids a-milking, but that is only because they are “maids.” In other words, they are consenting to the participation of various tasks in exchange for pay. Otherwise, let us bring awareness to the unwilling victims of slavery, in both the past and present. Together, we have the power to right our wrongs.
If the ten lords are a-leaping because they’re excited by the nine ladies (pole) dancing, then count me out. The world has come a long way in the equalization of genders, but there are definitely remnants of a “worth-by-body” stigma attached to females. My problem with this cannot be solved by more laws/legislation, but through an increased attitude of respect towards women. On paper, we are equal, so why not in person? By observing music videos, paying attention to derogatory terms for women and girls (I cannot stand the word “shawty”!), or listening carefully to the lyrics of many popular songs, you too may find yourself appalled by the brainless associations we make to females.
In our retail-obsessive society, we’re more likely to see several swipers swiping (credit cards) than pipers piping. The pipers (and twelve drummers, too) have the right idea: indulge in music, perhaps carolling or playing Christmas music while decorating the tree. If that’s not your thing, play in the snow, volunteer at a food drive, or just settle in to a viewing of How the Grinch Stole Christmas with the whole family. Case in point: don’t forget the true meaning of this precious holiday.
So as you can see, Santa, I’ve actually been a very good girl this year. Even my wish list includes requests that benefit others! You’re a busy man (and no doubt, your wife is too!), but if you could make happen even one of these suggestions, I would be eternally grateful. The world needs more generous, caring men like you. Thank you Santa, and Merry Christmas.
Oh. I forgot to mention; I could still use a true love.
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