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Sound far-fetched? How about exaggerated, paranoid or ridiculous? You may find this satire amusing, but there is some dark truth to it as well. The world, it feels, has become an over-regulated, rule-obsessed place. With every passing year we face the approval of invasive laws, tightened restrictions in essentially every aspect of life, and limit-happy politicians who seem to find great enjoyment in deciding what citizens can, cannot, or must do.
Short of confining every “fragile” human being into a well-oxygenated, styrofoam-padded room, there will always be risks associated with our everyday actions. (This is neglecting, of course, the possibility of a styrofoam recall, which may occur if the manufacturer discovers tainted material that poses a health hazard.) Yes, there are obviously rules for which compliance is not only mandatory, but common sense. Seatbelts, helmets for potentially dangerous activities, and limiting tobacco/alcohol sales (to a point) are necessary. That being said, it is sad that the government must regulate these safety approaches instead of letting citizens use sound judgment.
When I was in elementary school, we were allowed to bury each other in the snow. We played Red Rover, had wooden climbers, and sat on monkey bars. We bought candygrams on Valentine’s Day (heaven forbid if someone didn’t send every child in the school the exact same amount of treats) and even– gasp!– ordered the occasional chocolate bar with a school hot lunch sale. And you know what is remarkable? Not one of us died. Oh, with our reckless ways, how lucky we were!
If you are able to detect my sarcasm (you may not if your parents have exposed you to only happiness, praise and fairness that life must certainly bestow upon us all), you (hopefully) can agree that things these days have gone too far. Throwing a snowball at school is the modern-day equivalent to beating someone up.
Instead of teaching our children balance and proper nutrition, we simply try to “shield” them from “evil” foods that are forever prohibited. This leads to a lack of proper food education, as well as possible rebellion (kids tend to binge on unhealthy snacks when they get home after a less-than-desirable school lunch) and dangerous eating habits.
Instead of discipline and guidance, we seem to guard our children from all that may cause independence, self-reflection or negotiation. We (wrongly) behave as if all they do is honourable, when in reality this leads to extreme highs or lows of self-confidence. It is a dangerous fact that pupils follow the direction of a crossing guard, rather than properly applying the “look both ways” adage that is simple yet life-saving.
And instead of allowing our children freedom of play/exploration (within reason), we create an image of the world as a dark, scary place, where conflict equals violence, discovery equals danger, and roaming anywhere past the backyard is akin to a death sentence. No wonder we face an obesity epidemic.
I’m not advocating the return of corporal punishment. I’m not urging the retraction of workplace safety regulations. I’m not even asking for restored playground structures (though they may be enticing enough to actually encourage children to play). What I am trying to do here is open your eyes to a society that has becoming increasingly regulated; one where we are being suffocated by red tape, blanket rules, and narrowing freedom.
We cannot shelter our youth from the perils they will undoubtedly face in “the real world”. So why do we try to do so? It can safely (pun-intended) be said that we are not doing them any favours.
One more thing: when finished reading this article, it is strongly recommended that you cleanse your hands with hand-sanitizer, lest your skin absorb the possibly-toxic ink print. Have a great day!







